I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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