who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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