so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
