dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
