just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
