Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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