Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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