bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
