My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
