Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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