They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
