Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
