Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
