Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
