She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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