Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
