dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
