the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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