Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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