Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
