she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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