I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
