You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize