i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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