Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize