wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
this will be a night to untag.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
