uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize