whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i think my cat just said my name.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
