So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
ttyl tear gas
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
