Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
