Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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