In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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