You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
