Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
