Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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