Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
