Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
