Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
