If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
