do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize