kristin has been a bad kristin
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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