I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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