those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
