I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
