i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
