Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
