some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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