My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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