Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
