Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
