why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
