So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
