I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My ass is underappreciated
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
