I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
