my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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