id be glad to
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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