but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Don't EVER smell your tampon
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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