that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize