and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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