Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Your cock deserves a montage
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize