it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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