honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
