I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
