I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
